I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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