I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
