I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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