break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
