i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
