a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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