I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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