At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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