so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I can't put those talents on a resume
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
