I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
