Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Found the puke drawer
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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