I bet he comes in French.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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