saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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