I'm going to jail i love you
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
