No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
