it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
