what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
