Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
