where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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