my soul wont recognize me after tonight
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
