u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
YAS. BRING CRAB.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
