9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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