Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
How does one acquire holy water?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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