I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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