Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
