and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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