I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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