You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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