im six kinds of drunk right now
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
