GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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