I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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