Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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