Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
