I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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