Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex

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(612): View more from Minnesota

who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Since when is my name a synonym for head?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby

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(843): View more from South Carolina

He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.

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(314): View more from Missouri

we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.

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(716): View more from New York

strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them

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(+33): View more from France

Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.

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(240): View more from Maryland

You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand

(240): View more from Maryland

you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed

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