i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
