Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
