I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just cut my nipple shaving
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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