Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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