I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
