My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
