i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
