Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
