I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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