Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
