i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
