I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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