Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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