the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize