Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
