everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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