I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
