either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
