Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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