I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
