I want to stick my p in your. b.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
