we're blogging at a bar
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
