yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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