I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
