Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
