So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
its not stalking. its research.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
