Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
